When Innocence is Given
by Rabid Turtle
Summary: AU Kenshin's life is turned upside-down when a new girl comes to his school. But will dark secrets tear apart the fragile relationship the two have come to depend upon? ...KXK in a roundabout way. Please Review! UPDATE: chapter 9 up!
1. I Greetings

**When Innocence is Given**

By: Rabid Turtle

Disclaimer: Yeah. Don't own Rurouni Kenshin. (sob)

Chapter 1: Greeting

I looked at her. The girl. The new one. I saw the way her beautiful blue eyes swept around the room looking at us, as if trying to find someone she once knew, in our midst. I saw her stand defiantly, daring us to whisper and laugh about her, as our Chemistry teacher droned out her name.

Kaoru Kamiya.

I watched her slowly walk to the desk two rows ahead of me and I watched her hair flow about her in dark waves as she sat down. I had to admit it though. She was beautiful. Although different. She did not wear makeup. She did not wear designer clothes that were so tight you didn't even have to fantasize about what was under them. She did not blush or try to hide from the curious stares of the class. It was as if she did not see anyone around her and really didn't know why she was in this classroom, listening to a fifty year-old woman recite the properties of an ionic compound.

I think that was when I decided to talk to her. I wanted to know why she looked so secretive...and sad. However, I was startled out of my revelry when someone poked me in my side.

"Hey Kenshin! Why are you zoning on me? I am trying to tell you about the party at Sano's house. It's this weekend.... Kenshin what is up with you? You looked dazed."

I looked at Kamitari, my best friend since sixth grade. He was worriedly chewing on a strand of his hair. I smirked.

"Sorry Kamitari...new girl distracted me."

It was his turn to smirk. "Horny bastard. She just walked in and you're already fantasizing."

"Your just disappointed she isn't a hot new dude ready to become the second gay guy in Smithville High School's history."

That made him laugh. "You think I'd date someone in the same school as me? How would I secretly cheat on him with the other hot guys in school? Besides you know that this place only attracts the assholes of mankind to it. Except you maybe..and a few other privileged people whom I call friends. You're not an asshole...most of the time. "

I glanced around the room looking at our "peers" and had to agree. All of them were the sort of kids you expected to find in a small hick town. Lots of jocks who would love to kick your ass and lots of airhead cheerleaders who would giggle and squirm excitedly while you were thoroughly beaten. And believe me, these kids didn't take kindly to the few who were different from them. Like me. Like Kamitari. I wondered how the girl, Kaoru, would fit in. I wondered if she....dammit! Why do I insist on thinking about her!!

"God Kenshin, today you're zoning off more than Aoshi does," Kamitari sighed.

"HIMURA!! KAMITARI!! If you keep talking I'm sending both of you to the office!"

God that woman could shriek. "Sorry miss." I muttered.

"The faggot and his pretty boy whispering together again? Why don't you just screw each other and get it over with?" someone snickered from the back of the class. Everyone gave us a sidelong glance and some started to laugh out loud.

I didn't have to turn around to know who said that. Enishi Yukishiro had been after me since day one and I really didn't have any idea why. He's the type though that doesn't need a reason to mess with you, other than that he was the strongest fighter in the entire school, and, of course, knew it. There were even rumors that he had killed someone. But those were just dumb, unbelievable rumors someone started. At least that was what I kept telling myself anyway. Heh heh....eh...

"Ah...I was wondering when that prick would start entertaining the class with his astounding vocabulary. Faggot!? Jeez Kenshin, he must be using a thesaurus to insult us! I never would have thought he would know how to use one of those! My day keeps on getting better and better!" Kamitari muttered under his breath.

I grinned and looked away, very glad that this class was almost over. I glanced over at the new girl. Yep. Still pretending we weren't here. As I contemplated how I would go about in meeting her, the bell rang and half the class raced out to lunch. She was slowly picking up her books when I noticed she dropped her notebook. I walked over to her.

"Hey...uh.. it's Kaoru right? Hey you dropped your notebook. Let me get it for you." Mentally, I kicked myself. Way to go Boy Scout. Let's save the world one notebook at a time.

"Oh. Thank you." Kaoru half-smiled at me and took her notebook out of my hands.

Desperately, I tried to redeem myself. "So...where you from?"

"New York City. My family moved here about a week ago."

"New York huh. Quite a culture change. Smithville is like the exact opposite. In this place we're proud to have a two story building downtown. You like it here so far?"

An emotion I couldn't place flickered through her face. Pain? Sadness? Irritation at the dumb guy in front of her?

"It's...less busy. And quiet."

"Oh." Nothing much to say to that.

"Well I should be going. Umm..What was your name?"

I grinned at her. "It's Kenshin. Kenshin Himura."

She smiled at me and I swear, the room grew brighter for a second. "Thanks Kenshin. I'll see you around sometime."

She gracefully walked away, leaving me with a slightly goofy smile on my face. I sighed happily. Kaoru Kamiya, I felt, was going to make my junior year way more interesting than I had anticipated.

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Author: I hope this is good. It's my first ficcie and I'm being soo protective over it. Please, I beg you, review this and help me. Even if you think it sucks tell me (although it would be nice if you told me why you felt this way) Well, hopefully my muse won't run away from me anytime soon. Better start on Chapter 2 before it does. (starts to slave away on computer)


	2. II Flashback Lunch

** When Innocence is Given**

By: Rabid Turtle

Author: Chapter is Kaoru's POV. I think I'm going to keep switching off from Kenshin to Kaoru's thoughts every chapter. Maybe. If this works. _Words in italics are Kaoru's memories._

Disclaimer: Rabid Turtle can't afford a car so she definitely does not own Rurouni Kenshin. Leave her alone so she can complain about her money problems in peace.

Chapter 2: Flashback Lunch 

Some days it was just too painful to pretend that everything was fine. As I walked away from Chemistry class, I shuddered. That redhead boy with the cross-shaped scar on his cheek had really gotten to me. He reminded me too much of Sou, with his grin and...I shook my head. I knew better than to think about that. It would just land me with more psychiatrists. I decided to stay as far as possible from...Kenshin...as I possibly could. Although...I could tell he was a nice guy; probably had some nice girl that he would settle down with to have some nice children and start a nice family together. I snorted. He definitely didn't need me and my problems in his all-together ordinary, perfect life. It would be better for everyone if I stayed away from the people here. And safer.

"Uhu-Hu-Hu. Hello baby. Why do you look so tense? How 'bout I help you relax by showing you how people in Smithville have a good time?" A hand painfully grabbed my elbow.

I looked up, startled. In front of me was a muscular boy with eyes that were roaming up and down my body. I felt myself blush with embarrassment. Why did I have to go through this everywhere I went?

Shivering, I asked him to leave me alone.

"Uhu-Hu-Hu. I don't think so baby. We've just met." He tugged me closer to him.

_Hands, dirty hands, reaching for me._

_Tugging at me, my hair, my clothing._

_"C'mere girl. Let's have a good time"_

"NO!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!" I ran away to the lunchroom, panic and revulsion coursing through my body. It had been sometime since I had a flashback. Was it going to get worse, like before?

----------------------------------------------------------

"What the hell did you say to her Jin'eh? She looked like you were gonna murder her." Enishi murmured as he came over to stand next to his friend.

"I dunno. She just froze up and started twitching. Then she ran off."

"Heh. What a crazy bitch. You still want her?"

Jin'eh sneered. "Even more now. The crazy ones are entertaining...so much spirit. I have a feeling that this is going to be fun."

-----------------------------------------------------------

Slowly I calmed down and came to a halt outside of the cafeteria. The flashback had scared me. The last one I had had was about six months ago and the doctors had said I was getting better. Franticly, I stopped myself from thinking about it. I needed to calm down, knowing that if I looked scared people would notice. Entering, I saw Kenshin glance at me from across the sea of people. How did that boy seem to know where I was all the time? Before he could motion to me to come over, I wandered over to the other side of the lunchroom and tried to ignore the catcalls and whistles of the football team. Why did this school seem to be filled with horny perverted guys out to get me? I suddenly didn't feel hungry any more and prepared myself for a half-an-hour of surveying the floor. I watched as a pair of manicured feet stopped in front of me.

"So, you're the new girl I've been hearing so much about? Now that I've seen you, I wonder why. Did you know that at least two varsity players have asked about you? It's amazing what guys will go for these days. I'm just warning you though. Enishi is mine." A girl with long black hair and narrowed brown eyes stood in front of me. She would have been quite pretty if it wasn't for the nasty smirk she had on her face.

Shit. My first day and I had already made people angry. I tried to smile "I don't intend to date anyone here. You don't have to worry. I don't even know who Enishi is."

" Who said I was worrying? I was just warning you. Anyway, now that things have gotten straightened out, come sit with me and the girls. We really need to get you up-to-date with what people wear here. And makeup. You really need some makeup."

I looked at her, stunned. Was this how people acted here? I had just met her, and had been insulted by her. Now she was asking me to come over so she could change the way I look? However, I had a feeling that this girl wouldn't be pleased if I said no. I nodded and got up to follow her.

"Oh by the way, my name is Megumi Takani." She stopped at a table. " Girls this is Kaoru. I have decided that she is good enough to hang out with us."

I glanced at Megumi; wondering if she was joking or if she really was that stuck up. I couldn't tell.

There were two other girls, Yumi and Misao. Yumi was drop dead gorgeous and seemed to think everyone around her should worship her because of that fact. Misao, on the other hand, reminded me of a delicate little bird who would not shut up. However, Misao was the only friendly one at the table. Throughout the rest of lunch I just sat there listening to Yumi and Megumi gossip while Misao dreamily looked at a dark-haired boy who was silently sitting with a group of guys... which included Kenshin.

The more I heard Yumi and Megumi say the less I wanted to be with them. They reminded me of the girls in my old school, making me very uncomfortable.

" Did you hear what she told me? It was like she thought I would actually listen to her!"

" What a bitch! Doesn't she know that Shishio and you are like together now?"

"_Don't tell me what to do!!"_

"_I told you I don't like you hanging around me all the time Kaoru." _

"_Why? Don' t you like me anymore? Why can't we do stuff together?"_

"_Kaoru...Things are different now. We are growing.." _

"Don't talk to me! You said you would be there for me! Always!"

_slamming doors, weeping,_

_someone is calling my name, running, feet slapping pavement, laughing, darkness._

"_I love you, don't forget me..."_

"Uh... Kaoru are you O.K.? You're shaking." Misao touched my shoulder cautiously.

Fortunately, I snapped out of it and blinked a few times to clear my head.

"Sorry Misao. I was just...thinking."

"Oh good. I thought you were going to be sick or something."

I frowned. Two on the same day. What was going on with me? I had been doing so well on the medication...

I sighed.

Some days it was just too painful to pretend that everything was fine

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Author: Woohoo. Chapter 2 is done. Please Review!!

**To Reviewers:**

**Kari-san:** Since I highly respect your writing skills, I'm honored that you will give me a chance! I'm glad you noticed the humor I threw about. Makes me feel all special inside.

**Bradybunch4529: **Hehehe...I hope your fall didn't hurt too much. Hopefully, this chapter gave hints as to why Kaoru is so 'quiet and withdrawn'. Thank you for your review. It made me giggle. Literally. And I still don't know why.

**gaby (hyatt: **Thank you for your comment. It made me happy.


	3. III Of Threats and Invitations

**When Innocence is Given**

By Rabid Turtle

Author: Kenshin's POV.

Disclaimer: Rurouni Kenshin is not mine and will never in a million years be mine. Thanks for rubbing that point in. (grumble)

Chapter 3: Of Threats and Invitations

At least in my house, dinnertime consisted of the most awkward moments in life.

"What happened at school today Kenshin?" I watched fascinated as my Uncle Hiko slowly chewed on his dinner, lingeringly taking swigs out of his jug of sake. Hiko always eats so slowly that I'm surprised it's not lunchtime when he is done with his breakfast.

My uncle did not take kindly to me ignoring his question while I contemplated his eating habits.

"Hey idiot! I asked you a question!"

I blinked. "Oh, today was ordinary. Nothing much happened."

"Good."

Silence ensued except for the sound of two mouths chewing. It was extremely uncomfortable. It's not like I hate my uncle. In fact, I'm grateful to him. He has taken care of me ever since my mom....passed away. It's just that we don't communicate very well. Actually, I don't think my uncle communicates well with anyone. It's a good thing that he's a potter or else he would actually have to interact with people throughout the day. Trust me, that would be a disaster. And it would bring a lot of lawsuits.

Trying to break the silence I asked him a question "So, what did you do today?"

"Worked."

"Err...You finish anything?"

"A vase."

"Oh." I shifted in my chair uncomfortably.

"Do you want something Kenshin? Or are you just trying to annoy me?"

"No. I'm just trying to have a conversation with an antisocial old man. It's not going so well." There. That would get him talking.

Hiko glared at me. "I see. Since you have so much energy to talk tonight you can clean the dishes AND the kitchen." He then promptly left the table to go back to his studio.

I scowled at his back as he sauntered away. Bastard.

- - - - - - - - - - -

The rain kept me up that night. The dreams I have when it rains aren't...pleasant. Too many memories. I sighed. Might as well try to get some of my homework done. I couldn't concentrate though. _She _didn't seem to want to be forgotten and pushed out of my thoughts tonight. I rubbed the cut on my face where she had scarred me and the other cut where I had scarred myself. I sighed and looked out at the rain falling from the sky.

I missed my mother.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Spanish class, as usual, was horrendously boring and uncomfortable. I always seemed to make a fool of myself in there. I still remember the time in my freshman year when the teacher made each of the students say a color in Spanish. Mine was "gold" and, of course, that was the only color I didn't know. When it was my turn I hopelessly stared at the ground in defeat. A girl named Misao took pity on my poor soul and whispered that gold was 'oro'.

"Oro?" I muttered.

The teacher demanded I say it louder.

"Oro!!"

I wasn't rolling my r's properly enough for the hag.

"Oroo?"

"Orro?"

"ORO?!"

"ORRRRO!!"

Needless to say the entire class was rolling around on the floor, laughing their heads off, while I wished I could just melt through the floor and get away from this insane teacher and her oro's.

Today, however, we had a substitute in Spanish so the class was going wild and the sub had long since given up in trying to take control. Kamitari, Aoshi, and I were discussing the finer points of Sano's party.

"So how many people are invited?" I asked Kamitari as I lazily threw a paper ball at no one in particular.

"He said about 20 to 30 people but knowing Sano the entire school was invited," Kamitari chuckled, "I wonder how he got his parents to agree to this."

Both of us were shocked when the usually silent Aoshi answered in his deadpan voice. "I overheard Sanosuke saying that his parents were out of town. They do not know about this."

Kamitari grinned impishly "A party and no parental units! You know what that means? Alcohol!! Lots and lots of alcohol! Ah... I can see it now. Me and a bunch of drunken hot guys getting all close and cuddly..."

"Until you all start throwing up everywhere, flailing about like assholes, and, finally, blacking out in your own vomit." I said, frowning at the mere mention of getting drunk.

" Kenshin, just because you've gone on a holy crusade of abstinence from alcohol doesn't mean others can't enjoy the delightful times of being drunk. Anyway, I remember quite well when you used to chug it down with the rest of us drunkards..." Kamitari stopped teasing me when he saw the look on my face.

"You know why I quit." I softly whispered.

"Yeah, yeah, I know, buddy. Just teasing you a bit...Hey isn't that the girl you're in love with? Kaoru right?"

Glad that Kamitari had changed the topic, I glanced over at Kaoru, who was sitting quietly reading a book.

" Haven't I told you a thousand times that I do NOT love her?!?" I said, pretending to take offense.

"Well it's hard to come to that conclusion when you spend half the period watching her read a book."

" I wasn't looking at her. I was looking through the window _behind_ her." I said defensively.

"Riiiight." Apparently, he didn't believe me.

"I wonder if she has been invited to the party," Aoshi randomly cut-in.

Uh-oh. I could tell where this was going.

"Hmm...that's an interesting question Aoshi. Kenshin, why don't you invite her to come along with us? Maybe she'd actually start being social if she were away from the educational environment. I too know how it feels to be oppressed by the hordes of unwashed miscreants, to feel alone surrounded by imbeciles that infest this school, to be-"

"Kamitari, shut up." The guy was striking dramatic poses and people were beginning to notice. Sometimes Kamitari was oblivious of the outside world.

"But seriously Kenshin, you should ask her."

"It's not my party."

"So what? You think Sano would care? The more the merrier he would say."

"But it's not _my_ party."

"Kenshin I heard you the first time. Don't be repetitive. However, if you refuse to invite her I will be forced to use drastic measures. Yep. Hamlet. I threaten you with Hamlet. If you're not talking to the love of your life in ten seconds I will recite as much Shakespeare as it takes for you to whither away to nothing."

What else can a person do when threatened in such a way? I did as I was ordered and soon was sitting next to Kaoru.

"Hey Kaoru! What's up?" I tried to smile charmingly.

"Oh nothing. Just trying to finish my English homework."

She seemed nervous. Was I that intimidating? I was barely taller than she was!

"Well, I was wondering if you ..uh.. were invited to Sano's party this weekend. The entire school is going and I thought you might want to come to get to know people better and...yeah. So would you like to go? If transportation is a problem I know a few people who could help with that..." Real slick ace. Way to sweep her off her feet.

There was an awkward pause and then...

"I'm so sorry. I can't Kenshin. I really can't. I want to but I...forgive me." And with that Kaoru ran out the door, leaving me sitting there with my mouth hanging opened, stunned.

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**Author:** Muhahaha...yes I know I'm being evil stopping like that but hey, it gives everyone something to look forward to right? Right? Err...nevermind. Anyway, this is the story of the oro. One day I was in Spanish, bored out of my mind (I swear that my teacher did the voice over for Charlie Brown's teacher) and I was flipping around in my Spanish/English dictionary and saw that oro meant gold. If however, my dictionary is lying to me or I just can't read correctly, I beg all you Spanish speakers out there to forgive me. **Anyway, make me happy and review!!**

**To Reviewers:**

**I Hate You/I Love You:** (evil grin) Let's just say she's a bit traumatized...

**ameamepeaches: **A substantial fanbase? I only wish... Yay!! I have intrigued you!! My life feels complete!!


	4. IV Unthinkable

**When Innocence is Given**

By: Rabid Turtle

Author: Kaoru's POV. _Her memories are in italics._

Disclaimer: No I don't own Rurouni Kenshin so you can't sue me. Hah.

Chapter 4:  Unthinkable 

Guilt swallowed me up. I could not stop replaying the conversation in my head over and over. I saw Kenshin's face light up with excitement when he thoughtfully invited me to someone's party. I saw his face crumble when I rejected him. I saw myself cold-heartedly brushing him aside as I raced to get away. What had he done to deserve this? Kenshin had been so kind to me and I had refused to repay him. He probably hated me now. I know I hated me. Kenshin probably never wanted to see me again. Why did that make me feel so miserable? Wasn't this what I wanted? To be left alone and forgotten? Somehow, remembering his handsome face marred with shocked disappointment, I didn't care that my rejection was for his own good, that this was the safest course for me. I only knew that at that moment all I wanted to do was run back to him and tell him...

I shook my head mockingly. Tell him what? That I was ready to stop hiding from the world for a while? That I was ready to clamber out of my shell, at least for a little bit?

I sighed. I had lost the only chance I had and just thinking about it nearly drove me insane. However, was all this really that surprising? I knew I was shy. I knew I was uninteresting and dull. I knew I was ugly. I knew I had no redeeming qualities. Wasn't it better to have stopped Kenshin from seeing who I really was than to have waited for him to learn to hate me?

With these thoughts swirling around madly in my head, I trudged into my last class of the day: English.

" Baby...I'm glad you could make it. I saved you a seat by me. Why don't you come sit down? Uhu-hu-hu..."

Frozen, I glanced wildly around the room. There was the muscular boy, patting the chair next to him, grinning nastily. I shuddered as all my earlier thoughts swiftly flew from my mind.

"Leave Kaoru alone Jin'eh! No girl in her right mind would want to sit next to a pervert like you! Kaoru, you can sit next to me, where you won't have to deal with assholes like him," Misao smiled encouragingly at me.

As I slipped into the sit next to her I quietly whispered my thanks.

"Don't mention it. Guys like him always do this to the new girls. He'll hopefully stop after a few weeks. Anyway, I'm sooo glad you're in my English class. I suck at English and need all the help I can get. Besides, you seem so much nicer than Megumi and Yumi. All they do is gossip about this and that, blah blah blah. From now on, I'm considering you to be a close friend of mine. You don't mind, do you?"

I smiled cautiously, "Well..."

"I'm not taking no for an answer! From this day forward we will be the best of friends, comrades in arms against all the perverts after us! That doesn't sound too bad does it?" Misao playfully looked at me.

My smile grew wider," No, I guess it doesn't."

- - - - - - - - - - -

The house was empty when I got home. Although, even if my parents had been there I'd still have no one to welcome me back. Even after all this time, we were still dysfunctional around each other. Sometimes my mother wouldn't even look at me, afraid that I would see what so plainly shone through her eyes. Her bitterness. Her grief. I knew she blamed me for what had happened to my brother. Hell, I blamed myself for what happened and felt I deserved the quiet hostility she sometimes showed me.

It still hurt, though, knowing your own mother couldn't stand to look at you.

I wandered through the silent, vacant rooms, not really knowing why, just feeling the need to move. Most rooms were still full of boxes and old white sheets still covered most of the furniture. We always said we would unpack tomorrow or next weekend but we never did. It's funny how neatly you can seal away your memories of happier times in cardboard boxes, almost as if they never were real. It's funny...and sad.

I had finally made it to my room, one of the few places where things were mostly unpacked. Tiredly, I crawled into my bed. I needed a nap.

_- - - - - - - - _

_I was lying on my back, watching the ceiling fan rotate around and around in a never-ending circle._

_Blood was everywhere. Sou's blood. That...man's blood. But not my blood._

_The guilty never paid with their blood._

_Glass was twinkling at me, scattered through-out the blood-soaked carpet, like precious diamonds spread on red velvet._

_It took me awhile to remember why there was glass everywhere. And then I saw the lamp beside me. _

_I turned over and.._

_- - - - - - - - - _

I woke up suddenly, my hands covering my mouth to suppress a silent scream. The moonlight shone through my window, making my ceiling fan create wildly shifting shadows. I turned the fan off. I don't think I slept at all after that.

_- - - - - - - - -_

My favorite part of the day was when I walked to school. Everything was bathed in dew, where even the most unattractive yard looked like a dazzling Garden of Eden. The swirling mist felt cool and refreshing on my face and you could barely see the sun through the trees. I felt like the last person on earth who had been granted the gift of seeing the day reborn. The silence was comforting in a strange way and I was always careful to be as quiet as I could so as not to disturb it.

But the moment was always broken. The hot, burning sun always destroyed my Garden of Eden, while the chirping of the newly awoken birds shattered the unearthly silence. Life always awoke.

When I finally trudged the last few blocks to the high school, I could see Misao waiting for me. I smiled. Misao had a knack of making me do that.

"Kaoru! Hey, what's up? I'm soooo glad it's Friday! I'm sick of school already! How many days do we still have left? 800? But enough about me. How has today been treating you?" Misao stopped bouncing around for a minute to look at me in a scrutinizing way, " You look tired."

I grimaced. "My ceiling fan kept me up so yeah I'm tired. Is breakfast served here? I didn't get a chance to eat. Uh...Misao?"

She was staring dreamily at something behind me. I turned and saw a tall dark-haired guy get out of his car and walk into the building.

I grinned mischievously, "You like him don't you? He was the one you were staring at during yesterday's lunch right?"

She sighed unhappily. "I have wanted to marry Aoshi Shinomori ever since I was four. Everyone knows it too. Umm...Kaoru can I ask you something?"

"Yeah? What is it?"

"I know we haven't known each other for very long but I want to ask you a favor. You see, there is this party going on this weekend and I heard that Aoshi was going and I thought that maybe if I went I could start talking to him and maybe he'd start liking me more, but I'm too embarrassed to go by myself so I was wondering if you could come with me to be a sort of support system. It'll be really fun. I could introduce you to a lot of nice people. Please say yes. I don't know what to do if you don't help me!"

Amazingly, she had rambled this entire spiel all in one breath and stood their panting for air, gazing hopefully at me.

I groaned inwardly. As soon as I started to like someone, they asked me for the impossible. I looked at her. Hope and excitement were practically gushing out of her eyes. I didn't want to see Misao's face crumble. I didn't want to walk cold-heartedly away from her because I had refused to help her. I was tired of being the one to say no.

And so I did the unthinkable.

I said I would go.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

**Author:** Now before all of you start pelting me with stones, demanding to be told the reason why Kaoru refused to go with Kenshin and then on the next day decides to help Misao, let me explain. Kaoru feels extremely guilty in the way she treated Kenshin. Right Kaoru?

**Kaoru:** (nods)

**Author:** And you don't want to hurt another person like that again, especially when they went out of their way to be nice right?

**Kaoru:** (nods again)

**Author:** And at the party you're gonna tell Kenshin about your long and horribly interesting past so people can stop thinking your insane, right?

**Kaoru:** (starts to nod, realizes she's been had, and pulls out a bokken to beat the author senseless with)

**Author**: Err, sorry guys. That is all I am permitted to say right now. (hides from scary raccoon girl)

(rolls eyes) This is what happens when I drink caffeine. **Anyway review and make me insanely happy!! **

**To Reviewers:**

**Aoshi-Sama's weaselgirl- **(grins) Thanks for reviewing!! It made me update !!


	5. V Scream

**When Innocence is Given**

By: Rabid Turtle

Author: Sorry for the delay. I wasn't able to login because I was stuck with my family for a week for Thanksgiving. It was an…interesting experience…

I'm rating this chapter R for language. Kenshin's POV. Enjoy.

Disclaimer: (sigh) How many times do we have to go through this? I do not own Rurouni Kenshin.

Chapter 5: Scream

" Kenshin, if I catch you looking at yourself in a reflective surface one more time, I'm seriously going to behead you."

I sighed and looked at Kamitari. I couldn't help it. Ever since that embarrassing conversation in Spanish class yesterday I had been trying to figure out why Kaoru had looked so frightened…and guilty. Did I look scary or something? Admittedly, my cross-shaped scar did make me look somewhat wild but no one had ever been intimidated by me before. Most people were surprised when they found out that I was a guy. And older than fourteen. So it couldn't have been my appearance. Maybe I seemed too pushy in wanting to talk to her. I shrugged. I guess this would be the last time I would ever try to be nice to a complete stranger.

I sighed again and shook my head. It's just that I couldn't stop thinking about it. I had never felt so humiliated in my life. The entire class had stared at me for a whole minute and then erupted with laughter and questions on what Kaoru and I had been talking about.

" Sorry Kamitari. I'm a bit preoccupied today."

Kamitari looked at me. " No, you don't say. You should stop thinking about it. Your gonna give yourself an ulcer. What happened, happened. Nothing you can do about it. Anyway, what do you think? I'm not too sure about this top. It makes my neck look like its five feet long…" He was standing outside his bathroom doorway, nervously plucking his shirt.

I groaned. Kamitari had dragged me to his house so I could help him find an "outfit" to wear to Sano's party. In reality though, I wasn't being much of a help in choosing his attire. Mostly, I was half-heartedly flipping through his CD collection while repeatedly glancing at my reflection in search of clues for intimidating features. Still couldn't find any.

"Looks great Kamitari. Although, I still don't see why this is such a big deal. As long as your clothed, I don't think any one is going to care about what you are wearing. I vote going in a kimono. At least then you would have a great conversation starter right?" I chuckled. I really could see him doing that.

"Hmph. You are just so clueless when it comes to fashion. Let me guess, your outfit will consist of the cleanest items on the floor in your room right?"

Nodding innocently I added, "And a jacket. It's getting cold."

I barely managed to duck from the pillow aimed at my head.

"You have no taste."

" At least I'm not the one going in a kimono."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The party was already wild when we got there. The music was on so loud that in some rooms the walls were shaking.

"Ooo goody … Kanryuu is here!" Kamitari started to wave at a shady looking guy sitting off to the side with equally shady looking people surrounding him.

" Hey, I'm going to see if I can find Sano in this madhouse. See you." I walked off before Kamitari dragged me to Kanryuu. I couldn't stand that kid. Not only was he a smart-ass but he also dealt with drugs. To me, drugs only created more problems in people's lives. I avoided them even more than I did drinking. I didn't see why Kamitari liked to hang out with that creep.

It took a while but I finally found Sano. He was already slightly drunk.

"KENSHIN!!! You made it! Good to see you man! Is this fun or what? There are sooo many hot girls in here! I think the entire school showed up!" Sanosuke was grinning down at me like there was no tomorrow.

His grin was contagious. " The party certainly is …loud."

He laughed. " Here Kenshin, have a drink. Loosen you up." He shoved a beer can in my hands and walked unsteadily away, smiling and laughing with one group of people and then moving on to the next. Sano had always been the life of the party, even when we were little kids. People were drawn to him, partly because of his bad-ass attitude, mostly because he actually cared how you were coping with the shit life gave you. Sano was the type of guy who would go out of his way to get you through tough times.

While looking for a place to dispose of the unwanted drink Sano had given to me, I searched the room for familiar faces that were, preferably, not drunk. There was Kamitari sitting around with Kanryuu and his goons, laughing. I frowned and made a mental note to talk to him about Kanryuu.

I paused. Or maybe I shouldn't. It was his life after all and I didn't want him to think that I felt he didn't know how to stay out of trouble. I knew Kamitari could take care of himself.

_WHAM!!!_

While I had been contemplating, I had accidentally run into someone. Embarrassed, I looked at the girl who was staring in horror at me.

I froze. There, standing right in front of me, was Kaoru. And boy, was I pissed.

Clenching my teeth angrily, I haltingly said, " I can understand you not wanting to come with me to the party. I can even understand you not wanting to talk to me. But did you really have to run from me like I was some crazy pervert? Did you really think that it was necessary to embarrass me further by rushing out of class so that everyone kept on hassling me about what the hell did I do to you?"

Yes, I know I was venting and being an asshole about it, but what did you expect? Me to automatically forgive her for humiliating me in front of everyone?

She had been looking down at the floor throughout my rant. Now that I was done, she cautiously raised her eyes to my face. " I'm sorry Kenshin. I told you that. Not that you would understand, but I thought it was the best thing for me to do at the time."

While I stared at her a girl behind me squealed, "Kaoru! Come here! I want you to meet someone! She is really really nice!"

Kaoru looked behind me at a girl who I knew was Misao Makimachi. She then peered into my face with those cerulean colored eyes, which were filled with that same emotion I could never place.

" I hope you can someday forgive me Kenshin. I wish I could start over and try again. I think I would have liked you. " With that she gracefully walked toward Misao.

At the very least, her words had…unsettled me. I unconsciously took a sip of the can that was still in my hand. It wasn't until after the beer went down my throat that I realized how much I had missed it. I took another sip. Yes…I remembered and felt my craving grow. I shrugged. So unsettling. For tonight, at least, I would allow myself to forget everything. I downed the last drops in the can and went in search of some more.

- - - - - - - - -

I couldn't tell you how much I drank that night even if I wanted to. I only know that when Kamitari finally found me, I was extremely drunk.

"Oh my god Kenshin! What the hell happened to you? You have been drinking!?! Shit! Your eyes have turned that god damned yellow color again! You haven't been this bad since…" Kamitari fearfully stopped talking to me as he saw my face.

I growled at him " Go ahead and fucking say it. Come on. Say it. Or do I have to say it for you? Fine. You haven't seen me like this since I tried to cut my fucking face off."

"Kenshin…"

I snarled, "I was trying to finish what my mother started until you fucking got in the way and called the police" Somehow I was on my feet pushing Kamitari around. The music was so loud. It was pounding in my head, keeping time with my wildly dancing heart. I wanted to beat something to get rid of the endlessly throbbing noise. "Turn it off", I wanted to scream, "Turn it all fucking off!", but I couldn't cause someone was screaming and it wasn't Kamitari.

Whirling around, I saw…Kaoru. She was being groped and pulled on by one of Enishi's friends, Jin'eh. She was screaming and he was laughing. People weren't paying attention cause the music was pulsing so fast now and everyone was jumping, thrashing, howling. But she was screaming and he was laughing.

Before I knew it I was charging at Jin'eh. My blood was coursing through my body and I thought my heart was going to beat out of my chest. I heard Kamitari shout my name but I kept going. Nothing mattered except Kaoru's frantic shrieking. All I could see was her face, pale with panic, squirming, struggling, crying. All I could see was Jin'eh extinguishing something that should have been protected.

Kaoru's fear filled me with hate.

She was screaming and he was laughing. Charged with the pulsing throb of the music, I flew at him, teeth bared, ready to annihilate.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

**Author:** Well this became a party from hell...**but tell me what you think about it by reviewing!!**

**To Reviewers:**

**WhiteRabbit5: **Your review was very inspirational for me. It made me finish this chapter faster than I thought possible. I laughed so hard when I read the "KENSHIN AND KAORU FOREVER AND EVER" line. I know a lot of people who are like that and it can get annoying sometimes…Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you ever so much and I hope you continue to amuse me with your thoughts. ;D

**Jbella: **I hope when you say original it implies "good". It took me forever and a day to write that 'oro' scene and I still don't know if I like it….but thank you for your review. It made me feel great and grand.

**Aoshi-Sama's weaselgirl: **The server nearly drove me insane! I tried to update before I had to go visit my relatives but it wouldn't let me!! However, thank you for your comment.


	6. VI The Eyes that Burn

**When Innocence is Given**

By: Rabid Turtle

Author: Kaoru POV. _Italics are Kaoru's memories or thoughts._ Chapter starts out where Kaoru had just walked away from Kenshin after they had run into each other at the party. She then joins Misao and another girl.

Disclaimer: I own Nothing. And Nothing owns me. Muhahaha.

Chapter 6: The Eyes That Burn

" Okon, this is the girl I was telling you about. Kaoru is the one from New York! I was so jealous when I found out…Wait I am being rude. Kaoru this is Okon, my sister. She's a senior at our school." Misao was full of energy, even now, when it was close to one o'clock in the morning. I smiled at Okon. She looked nice enough.

" I see you were talking to Kenshin. Isn't he nice? And not bad looking either…" Okon grinned teasingly.

Pausing I murmured " I don't know him well enough to be able to judge."

'_And probably never will,'_ I thought.

Okon laughed. "Well, you will soon enough. So, what was it like living in New York? I bet it was exciting. Me and Misao have wanted to go to a big city since we were, like, eight. Right Misao? Uh…Misao?" She looked questioningly at her green-eyed sister.

With a look of determination etched on her face Misao muttered, " Excuse me ladies, I have business to attend to." Misao popped her knuckles as she deliberately marched toward an unsuspecting Aoshi, who had just entered the room.

Sighing, Okon sadly whispered to me, " I don't know why she does this to herself. I have told her a million times that no matter how hard she tries Aoshi will not magically start to show any sort of affection for her. I know Aoshi and I know my sister. Even if something did start happening between them it could not last."

Puzzled, I asked her why.

" No matter how much fire and ice wish to be with each other, in the end, one of them will always be extinguished," Okon suddenly laughed, " Listen to me! I guess this is what I get from taking a psychology class! Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe they will grow up, get married, and live happily ever after with eighteen kids running around, creating havoc."

We looked at where Misao was chattering constantly to Aoshi, who was not responding but looking at her, his face devoid of emotion.

" For her sake, I hope I am wrong. Obsession is a heavy burden. For anyone," Her eyes burned with apprehension

I looked at Okon's worried face. Was this how Sou had felt? Had he been plagued with anxiety over his headstrong little sister? Had he ever wondered on how best to protect me, even from myself?

I softly touched Okon's shoulder. " Misao is strong. Even if she gets hurt she will never give up her faith in Aoshi. That is just who she is. Maybe she can be strong enough for the both of them."

I will never forget Okon's eyes as she looked at me. Hope mingled with dread, misgiving with faith. She smiled at me, " I can see why Misao likes you. You give comfort when no one else can."

I shook my head, embarrassed. It was I who needed to be comforted and soothed more than anyone and here I was helping others. Ironic how things work out like that.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

Okon and I soon changed the subject and discussed school and movies we had seen lately until some of her friends came to take her away.

Turning Okon asked, "You want to come, Kaoru? We all plan to stay up late, watching chick-flicks, bawling our eyes out. It is tremendously fun."

I chuckled. " No I can't. I promised Misao I'd be her support system for the night. Maybe next time okay?"

"Sure that sounds like a plan. I'm glad I met you Kaoru." With one more grateful smile Okon walked away.

I winced as someone turned up the volume to the stereo. I needed to get away from all this noise before it gave me a headache. I slowly wandered through the crowded room, looking for a place to sit down and relax.

An all too familiar voice breathed into my ear, " I was wondering when I would find you alone, my pet. I was getting impatient."

I whirled around and took a step back, eyes widening at the sight of the grinning boy in front of me. "Jin'eh, please stop. Please, I don't want to do this. Leave me alone…" My hands had started to shake.

Jin'eh chuckled and leeringly started to walk toward me until my back was pressed against a wall.

"Aww, don't say that baby. It hurts my feelings." He was pressed against me. I couldn't breathe. The beginnings of panic started to bloom in my mind.

His hands were underneath my shirt.

_Hands sliding down my thighs…_

His labored breathing smelled like beer.

"_Stop squirming girl before I really hurt you…"_

He was grinding me into the wall. Someone was screaming franticly. I finally realized it was me.

"_GET AWAY FROM MY SISTER!" _

_I was flung across the room, hitting my head on a table and almost knocking down a table lamp…_

Suddenly Jin'eh's body was forcefully thrown off of me. An animalistic howl assaulted my ears. Someone was beating Jin'eh in the face, screaming incoherent obscenities. It was Kenshin.

Growling, Jin'eh wrenched Kenshin off of him and punched the side of his face. Bright blood ran in a tiny river down the red head's face. I think my heart stopped for a second then. Everything faded away from my sight, except for Kenshin's eyes. They gleamed yellow, like some rabid dog. I shivered. This was not the boy who I talked to in Spanish class. This…was feral.

Enraged, Kenshin threw himself at the taller boy and started to hit wildly at Jin'eh's body. Both fell to the floor. Jin'eh tried to grab Kenshin's neck in order to strangle him but Kenshin seized Jin'eh's throat first and resumed beating his head. The sickening sound of the boy's skull to the floor made me paralyzed with dread. Already, dark blood was oozing around Jin'eh's head, like some dark halo. The smell of blood made me want to retch.

Scattered thoughts thundered through my brain.

Why was Kenshin still fighting?

Didn't he know that if he kept hitting he was going to kill?

All this was my fault. If I had at least tried to run away, Kenshin would not be in peril of becoming a murderer. I clenched my fists. This must be stopped.

My floundering steps toward the fight seemed to last for an eternity. All I could hear was my labored breathing and the pounding of my feet. For some reason my throat wasn't working and instead of screaming all I could do was whisper my pleadings to stop.

Kenshin's fist was coming down one last time and I threw myself at his arm.

Panting, I whimpered, " Please stop! You are killing him! He can't hurt me anymore so there is no reason to continue to beat him. Please, please stop! Kenshin!"

Kenshin had froze when I had grabbed his arm. He slowly turned to me. His wild, inhuman gaze seemed to burn through my skin, making me feel naked. I flinched.

Suddenly, he picked me up into his arms and carried me outside. Shaken people practically ran to get out of his way. I could see Misao frozen in terror, staring at Kenshin with dread. No one said anything to us as we walked out of the house.

The night air felt good on my face and the moonlight made the still-oozing blood on Kenshin's face shimmer. His strained breathing caught my attention and made me recoil. I could smell it on his breath. I slowly started to understand how this once peaceful and good-natured guy could turn into this man who was holding me so carefully and yet had been ready to kill someone a minute ago.

I could smell the alcohol. And I became afraid.

Kenshin slowly came to a stop underneath a tree in the backyard of someone's house. He delicately set me on the ground and stood up, staring at me with those wild amber eyes.

Silence ensued and neither of us wanted to break it. I started to stand up when suddenly Kenshin knelt down, his hands clenched into my shoulders.

"I swear…that I…will protect you from now on. I fucking swear that this will never happen again to you. I will make sure you are safe, Kaoru. I swear it." The intensity in his voice sent shivers up and down my spine.

I let out the breath I hadn't known I was holding. He would protect me? I fought the urge to start sobbing uncontrollably. This boy….he was so like my brother that it was frightening. A single tear forced its way out and Kenshin's eyes watched as it traveled down my face.

"Thank you," at least I managed to get that out.

Abruptly Kenshin twisted around and started to vomit. Embarrassed, I looked up at the sky. The stars were so bright tonight. Looking back at my sick savior, I saw that his breathing patterns were slowly calming down.

"We probably should get you home. Where do you live?" I tugged Kenshin up to his feet and made most of his weight rest on me. I thanked God that he wasn't very big or else I would have had to of left him in his own vomit to look for help.

Kenshin muttered some directions and we gradually walked down the road, bathed in the silent starlight.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Author: How fun. A midnight walk with a drunk. ::twitches::

**Anyway, be a good reader and review!!!!**

**To the Reviewers:**

**JBella: ** The things I make poor Kenshin and Kaoru go through…. ;D However now I can say that I am doing it all for the sake of developing a plot! Muhahaha! ..erm..

**Padfoot's Pup: **Aaa, you have only begun to see the freakiness of my creation…but thank you for thinking my story is good enough to be called incredible.

**Prohibited: **Update fast enough? :D

**WhiteRabbit5:** Yes I really have messed up everyone haven't I? Hopefully things will end happily but my muse is being ornery and refusing to talk about it. Well this end isn't as thrilling as the last one but hopefully it is acceptable. It irritates me when every chapter of a story ends with a cliffhanger.

**half-breed-demon-fox: **Glad you like the story!!

**Aoshi-Sama's weaselgirl: **Since Kenshin isn't a swordsman I had to make the Battousai come out some way!!

**Jep: **The best? Pssh..i wish. If you really want to read some good fanfiction go see Angrybee, Linay, and Iram's stuff. They are gods among writers. No kidding. But thank you for your wonderful compliment. I feel sooo special..


	7. VII Of Dreams

**When Innocence is Given **

By: Rabid Turtle

**Author:** I am afraid that my updating might become a bit sporadic for a bit. The dreaded finals are coming up and my English teacher 'conveniently' gave me two projects at the same time so I can safely say that my writing time is now non-existent for at least a few weeks. I am so very sorry for the upcoming delay and will hurry as fast as I can. Anyway, on with the show!! Kenshin's POV 

Disclaimer: I do not own Rurouni Kenshin. No I do not.

Chapter 7: Of Dreams

I woke up with the most excruciating headache ever known to man. Opening my eyes I groaned.

Please, please let this be a nightmare.

Uncle Hiko was standing in front of my bed, arms crossed, a dangerous frown on his face.

" You are a complete dumbass, boy. I give you a second chance after you decide to clean up your act and stop being a drunken ass, I let you have a social life again, and look what you do with your it. You go right back to alcohol, pick a fight with some thug, and make some girl bring your ass home. Idiot! If you can't hold your liquor don't drink at all! Do you know what could have happened to you if the police caught you!" Hiko looked like he was about to smash something. I had never seen him this enraged.

" I'm…. I'm sorry…" I managed to stammer out.

" Shut up boy!! I am not finished speaking!! You think you can do whatever you want without thinking about the consequences! Do you think that what you do with your life doesn't matter? Are you that much of an idiot!?! After all that we have been through, are you that naive? If you ever pull shit like this again I swear, you will wish that you have died and gone to hell! From now on when and where you go are restricted until I say so. You disappoint me Kenshin. I thought you were becoming a man. Now I see you are still only a foolish child."

"Uncle…" I was ashamed in how small my voice sounded.

My Uncle stormed out of my room, slamming the door behind him. But he didn't walk away. I could hear him standing there, just outside the door, trying to get control over his breathing. Hiko's voice kept on ringing in my head. I had disappointed him. Those words haunted me more than anything else. The man who had raised me when no one else would, the man who helped me get out of the hell I had once thrown myself into, was disappointed in me. Disgusted with myself, I covered my head with my blankets and slowly fell asleep.

- - - - - - - - - - -

_I'm running, running down a hallway of my old house. It's so far that my six-year-old legs can hardly make the distance. But I have to. I have to find Mommy. Before she gets mad at me._

_- - - _

_"I wish I could start over and try again…Kenshin." There was Kaoru and her curious eyes, eyes that demanded to be stared at. Laughing, she ran down the hallway. There were cherry blossoms falling everywhere, and Kaoru was looking up, up at the ceiling, up at the dancing petals, arms spread wide as if to give the entire world a friendly embrace. Even a six-year-old could tell that she was happy._

_- - - _

_Kaoru was gone and there was a door in front of me. I heard crying behind it. The hallway had long since turned into a barren forest. Why had I thought the particles falling out of the sky were cherry blossoms? No, it was snow…or rain. Dread grew in my stomach. I did not want to go through the door. But I had to. Mommy was in there and I had to help her. _

_She was sitting at the kitchen table, empty bottles everywhere. Suddenly I was very small and had to crawl my way up to her. _

_Taking her hand I tried my very best to comfort her, "Mommy, mommy..."_

_Mommy did not look at me. She was staring straight ahead, as if I wasn't there. I started to cry. Mommy was going to get angry with me soon. She always got angry with me when there were empty bottles and empty eyes._

" _You look so much like your father…every time I see you…I can't…get away from me! I do not want to see that face!" Mommy starts to cry._

_- - - _

_I am outside going to the park. Mommy is holding my hand, smiling down at me. She is not mad. She is not crying. Today is a good day. _

_"You are a good boy Kenshin…" She pats my head. I beam up at her. I am a good boy. I love my Mommy so much._

_- - - _

_"Thank you," the raven-haired girl softly whispers. My hands are on her shoulders and I know that I am clenching my fingers into her skin but I can't let go. I can't let her disappear. I need her. I need her to be real. _

_- - - - - - - - - - - -_

I woke up with a start. When would I ever stop dreaming? Slowly I got out of bed and started to get dressed when someone knocked on my door.

Hiko wouldn't have knocked. " Come in." I watched, puzzled as the doorknob turned.

" Your Uncle let me in." Kamitari slipped quietly in my room and closed the door behind him.

We stared at each other, in silence. The hurt in Kamitari's eyes almost killed something in me. Ashamed, I couldn't meet his gaze and looked out the window. Suddenly, Kamitari was crushing my rib cage with a gigantic hug.

Breaking down, I could only stammer, " I'm so, so sorry…I can't believe I…but Kaoru…I just…" The ache in my throat forced me to stop babbling.

" It's okay Kenshin. Just don't…ever scare me like that again. I really thought you were going to kill Jin'eh…" He let go of me and stepped back.

I looked down at my floor and whispered, " I would have. I would have killed him. I wanted to kill him and that scares me. And it wasn't just about what he was doing to Kaoru. I was…enraged at life. Every dark memory in me resurfaced and all I wanted to do was to hurt, to pass the pain on to someone else. If it weren't for Kaoru…I would have…"

Kamitari hugged me again and patted my hair, just like my mother used to do when I was young. "But you didn't kill. Kaoru stopped you. And that is all that matters. Which brings up a very important subject. How is it going between you two? She still edgy?"

I grimaced. " Well I haven't really talked to her since she dragged me home, but I'm guessing that she thinks of me as some drunk psycho with anger issues."

He chuckled, " I don't know Kenshin, the hero who saved the damsel is never thought of as a psycho, no matter how drunk he was at the time. I think you still actually have a chance."

" Well, I guess we will see tomorrow now won't we? But this time I think you are wrong. I totally screwed up."

Kamitari smiled and clapped me on the back, " You should learn to trust my instincts. But anyway, let's go rent a movie, something so stupid that we have no choice but to make fun of it! No, you don't have to say anything to your Uncle. I already asked him if I could take his idiot nephew out of his cell, err… I mean his _room, _and he said and I quote " Get that dumbass out of bed before he forgets how to walk." And so my friend, let us be gone!! Up, up, and away!!"

I couldn't help but give him a small smile. I don't know what I would do without Kamitari.

- - - - - - - - -

"Why do they call school lunch a 'nutritious meal'? Does anyone really believe that this is edible food? Sometimes garbage seems more appealing…" grumbled Sanosuke as he poked a rather questionable item on his tray.

" Then why do you eat it? Even if you continually complain about the food here it seems you spend more time stuffing your face than you do breathing! Admit Sano, you're a pig and probably would eat garbage if it were given to you." Kamitari leaned back in his chair, smirking.

Taking a huge bite of what seemed to be a burrito, Sanosuke grumbled, " I'm a growing man. Gotta eat something. And at least I'm not some pansy-boy too picky to eat anything."

Kamitari fluttered his eyes. " Well, I have to protect my figure! I can't just eat any old thing thrown my way. Only the best for the beautiful! Which also explains why you are content with slops…piggy."

Sanosuke narrowed his eyes, "And what the hell is that supposed to mean?!?"

I started to laugh and Aoshi cracked a smile. Kamitari and Sano always put on quite a show during lunch. However, even their best of antics couldn't keep my mind fully occupied. I hadn't seen Kaoru the entire day and all I wanted to do was beg her for forgiveness. Sighing I shook my head. It seemed fate was against me.

"Umm…Kenshin can I talk to you? Alone?"

Or maybe it was finally all working out for me…

As if she had just magically appeared out of thin air, there she was, standing nervously in front of four guys, two of whom had mischievous smiles stamped on their faces. I blinked. Kaoru didn't seem repulsed by the mere sight of me. I took that as a good sign of her at least listening to my apology, let alone accepting it.

"Umm.. Sure Kaoru. Let's go outside." I staunchly refused to listen to the crude snickers coming from my 'closest' friends. Just what I needed…a peanut gallery.

As we silently made our way outside to the courtyard (which was more like a field in between the school buildings) I started to panic. How am I supposed to start a conversation with a girl who I had probably scarred for life because of my drunken behavior? The honest approach? ' Sooo, well I used to be an alcoholic but quit until you showed up and made me take up drinking once again!' Somehow I didn't think that was going to heal the breach in our non-existent relationship. Okay, how about I laugh it off with a ' Hey it's not every day that you get fought over by two violent drunks! Makes you feel all special inside, doesn't it?' I had to fight an almost irresistible urge to hit myself over the head. Fine. I admit it. I am socially inept during this sort of thing and I am walking into a fiasco knowingly. I am such an idiot.

Both Kaoru and I stopped when we came to a more secluded area of the school. I couldn't talk. All that was running through my head at the moment was not any humble apologies, not any begs of forgiveness, but the image of Kaoru in my dream, looking so happy with her arms spread to the sky, embracing the world and all that was in it. Dear God, how am I supposed to concentrate on ANYTHING when a wildly beautiful girl is running around in your head?

It was finally Kaoru who broke the suppressed atmosphere that had been threatening to suffocate me.

" Kenshin…I don't know how to say this right but I am going to try. Umm… I just think that in view of all the misunderstandings between us, we should just start over and try again. I know I wasn't very nice to you in the beginning and you are very scary when you're drunk but I…I still think that…that maybe we could be friends. Of course, I completely understand if you just want me to leave you alone and I will never bring up this subject again if this makes you uncomfortable. Just say the word and I will…"

I interrupted her, smiling, " I would love to start over. However, I insist that we both refuse to remember our past dealings with each other because I think they are extremely embarrassing and still make me a bit queasy. Ugh… I still have nightmares about how I heroically saved your notebook from being left behind in Chemistry on the day we first met. I honestly was surprised that you actually kept talking to me after that."

She laughed. "Well it seemed no matter what I did, fate kept making us crash into each other. Literally. And now I just can't seem to get rid of you…"

I grinned cheekily at her. Was it just me or had this entire day gotten brighter? Why hadn't the birds suddenly broken into song to celebrate this magical occasion? Where was the heavenly light that appears from the sky during miracles?

"Let's go eat. I'm sure Kamitari is tired of trying to peek at us through windows. Poor boy, he is going to ruin his hair"

She smiled. "Let's."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

**Author: **Yay!! On to chapter 8!

**To Reviewers: **

**Prohibited: **::giggles uncontrollably:: You think this is good enough to be considered "fantastique"? What an honor! You are too good to me…

**half-breed-demon-fox:** Hopefully I did okay with this chapter…I don't think it's the best I have ever written but oh well…

**Nekotsuki: **I too got fed up with all the numerous high school fics that really were not good at all. Hence why I am writing this . Thank you for saying that I am doing better than most!! However, now I have to go and beat my ego down with a stick….By the way I am slowly but surely making my way through Tanabata Jasmine and loving every minute of it. I will review when I get caught up..

**Aoshi-Sama's weaselgirl:** Yes I had a feeling that you liked Aoshi more than anyone else… and I have _no clue_ as to what tipped me off…

**ScreamsOfTheDead:** Aah! You changed your name on me!! I am afraid that you are not the only glomper here. I would probably suffocate poor Kenshin to death .

**flaming-amber: **I am curious as to what you meant by your last sentence. Do you feel that I am just throwing in people and not using them or is that just a general warning for the future? Either way I will gratefully engrave your advice into my heart.


	8. VIII Family Ties

**When Innocence is Given**

By: Rabid Turtle

Author: Again, I am deeply sorry for the wait. Not only did finals and a Christmas vacation project pounce on me; I also had my first bout of writer's block. Hopefully, all my struggling pulled off. Kaoru's POV.

**Chapter 8: Family Ties**

Tonight, I can't seem to sleep. Thoughts are whirling around in my mind so fast that I am almost dizzy. I have known Misao and the others for a month now and every day with them seems to revive something in me that I had once thought was dead. I am so grateful that I have been blessed with friends like these. I smile at my ceiling. An emotion that has been pervading all my conscious hours threatens to overwhelm me and I am so frightened that it will be taken away, like it always has been.

I am happy.

Those three small words continue to haunt me. I know too well that happiness can be crushed in an instant, that one wrong choice can snuff out any sense of security you might have once had.

'_Wrong choices_…' my already faltering smile crumbles.

'_If I hadn't been so angry…If I had actually listened to what Sou was saying instead of running off…If I had been stronger…My brother would be alive today._'

Guilt is a disease, one that slowly eats at your soul. You become empty, living off of dead memories, surrounded by demons of your own making.

And sometimes not even happiness is enough to keep them at bay.

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I really love how teachers tend to believe that your life must revolve around their class and so, to prevent their students from having no purpose to exist, they create insanely detailed projects meant to take up every second of the day. Thankfully, our English teacher was slightly less sadistic than most and let us have partners for our semester assignment.

However, as I looked at my 'teammate' I had to admit that I would have been better off on my own. Instead of working diligently, Misao was sitting on a chair in my kitchen, forlornly looking out the window. She sighed miserably.

I blinked. Misao was _sighing_? Misao was anything _but_ happy? What could have caused this happy-go-lucky girl to be so…un-Misao like? Needless to say, I was worried. Nevertheless, I continued to work on the assignment in front of us. I knew it would be better if Misao started the conversation rather than me asking what was wrong.

"I can't do this any longer!! I have to tell someone or I will explode!" Misao suddenly looked dramatically at me, " Kaoru I must speak up! Don't try to stop me because it's no use!"

I looked quizzically at her, " Umm…okay. What?"

She sighed pitifully again, looking slightly put out that I didn't even pretend to try to stop her from spilling out her troubles. " Have you ever wanted something so bad that you thought you would die if you didn't get it? Ever since I have started to hang out with you…and Kenshin, I have been in the presence of my Aoshi more than I have ever been in my entire life. And yet…he still doesn't notice me. It's like there is a wall in between us that can't be knocked down, no matter how hard I try. I really think I am going to go crazy if he doesn't start to acknowledge my existence soon! Kaoru, I just feel so…unhappy. I don't know what to do."

Throughout Misao's 'confession' I was slowly but surely panicking. Why did everyone think I was some sort of counselor? Hell, I had trouble keeping me afloat not to mention everyone else. I knew nothing of relationships, especially the kinds involving a block of ice and a lovable drama queen. Why must I be thrown into situations where I am so inept?

"Misao I probably am not the best person you should be asking but…umm.. well my advice is that instead of worrying about Aoshi's lack of uhh…communication, just be patient and ready to help him whenever he needs it. And…it might be smart to get used to the idea that it could take a long time for him to open up. But then again, what do I know about stuff like this? I could be wrong. You might want to talk to your sister though. Last time I talked to her, she seemed really worried about you."

Misao seemed to absorb this information, "Yeah, Okon has been acting weird lately. But I already know what she has to say about Aoshi and me. ' We aren't compatible, not made for each other, blah blah blah.' Okon thinks she is soo smart because she is older than I am. But what does she know? She can't possibly understand how complex this is."

I shifted uncomfortably. "She probably understands better than I do. I really have no experience with this kind of stuff."

Nervousness overtook Misao's features. " Yeah that's another thing I wanted to talk about. I probably am going to make you really, really mad and I am really sorry about that but…Kaoru, what are you doing with Kenshin?"

What!?! How did this conversation get out of hand so fast? " I have no idea what you are talking about. Me and Kenshin are just friends. Nothing more, nothing less."

Misao frowned. " I know that. I didn't think you guys were umm..'together' or anything but Kaoru…how can you even be friends with him? The night at Sano's party…Kenshin tried to kill Jin'eh. Kenshin WAS killing him. If you hadn't stopped him, Jin'eh would be dead right now. How can you be friends with a killer? He could be extremely dangerous. How can you trust him?"

" Kenshin was drunk. It wasn't entirely his fault. Besides, Jin'eh was attacking me. Without Kenshin interfering, who knows what could have happened." I defensively said. Wait a second…why do I suddenly feel the need to start defending my reasons? This conversation needed to end. Soon.

" But is that really an excuse to murder? What Jin'eh was doing was horrible, but what Kenshin did was wrong too. He just kept hitting and hitting, even though Jin'eh had long since stopped trying to defend himself. You say that he was drunk like that is some great excuse for almost killing a person. Kenshin is a _violent_ drunk. How can you be safe with someone who at any moment could turn into such a…monster? I'm sorry if this hurts you Kaoru but I am your friend and I think you just needed to be…warned."

I stared stiffly at the wall and whispered. "I am glad you care enough about me to want to help me but I don't think Kenshin is a threat to my safety. I think we should stop talking about this. I don't want to get mad at you," I shook my head and tried to smile, " Let's try to finish up more of this project okay? I don't feel like working on this during the weekend."

Sensing that I would refuse to talk about it more Misao nodded and started to half-heartedly work on her part of the assignment. We soon began much lighter conversation and things appeared to return to normal, even getting to the point where Misao reminded me that Okon had promised to take us to the grand opening of the first mall to be built in Smithville, where we would meet Kenshin and his friends.

But still, even after Misao left, her warning resounded in my mind like some somber bell. The seeds of doubt had been planted. Why had I felt the need to befriend Kenshin that day? Even to myself, I knew I couldn't come up with a good answer. What I had done was slightly foolish, probably almost to the point of being unwise. But still…he could be so nice, making me feel like I was just a regular girl with a regular life. It was a nice fantasy to believe in even though I knew that it was far from the truth. It's nice to believe that you are happy.

"Oh. You're still here. I thought you would be at what's-her-name's house today." I turned and saw my mother with a bag of groceries, a fake smile plastered on her face.

"Misao and I decided to come here instead. I hope that it's not a problem. She just left though."

My mother stiffly walked past me. "Oh that is fine. Just don't make it a habit. Too many people here without me knowing makes me nervous."

I nodded silently and trudged up to my room so my presence wouldn't be as oppressive to my mother. Sometimes I felt like a prisoner in my own home where the roles of convict, guard, and judge were all carried out by me.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

You could feel it coming. You felt it in the air, saw it in their faces. The undercurrents of the conversation would cut deeply, making a jaw or hand clench in repressed anger. Arguments at dinner would always start like this, like a storm building over the ocean before it becomes a tsunami and destroys all in its path. All I could do was watch, horrified and fascinated, flinching at every word that hurt and bled and broke the few family ties our relationship with each other clung to.

"Ah, I see you worked hard preparing dinner for us. Must have taken effort to call for take out. Or have you taken the time to put the number on speed dial?" my father sarcastically smiled at my mother from across the dinner table.

A dull blush rose on to her face. " I have been busy. I didn't have time to make anything. Besides, what did you do today that made you so above helping your wife in the kitchen?"

He glared. "You never used to need my help. I can remember plenty of times where my family came down to eat a healthy meal, where we had nice conversations with each other…."

Interrupting, my mother had a sinister tone in her whispered voice. "Times change. No one in this room is the same person they were six years ago. How can you expect us to be the same after…"

Suddenly, my father slammed his clenched fist on the table, knocking down his bottle of beer. "Why can't you get over it? It's over and done with. No use pouting and making everyone else miserable. At least Kaoru and I make an effort to continue our lives in a somewhat normal fashion. All you do is sit in this house and bitch about everything. Wake up woman!!"

Her voice rising to almost a shriek, my mother's breath became erratic. " POUTING?!? POUTING?!? HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT? MY SON IS DEAD! MY SON IS DEAD!" She turned her wild gaze at me, " And it's because of her! You yell at me but it's her fault! Why don't you send her away? I can't stand looking at her, trying to pretend that I still love her! She is my daughter but I wish she had never been born. I want you to send her away! Make her go to some boarding school. I promise…I promise, I would be happier if she was gone!"

Roaring my father stood up, knocking back his chair. " I WILL NOT HAVE MY FAMILY BREAK UP! Kaoru is going to stay here where she belongs and you are going to stop treating her like shit. She is your daughter, god damn it! I will not have my family talk to each other like that. We WILL be happy."

My mother glared at me, " This is all your fault. I hate you. I hate you! I wish you died at birth!"

"That's it!! You're going on medication first thing tomorrow. You're a god dammed physco!"

They didn't notice when I left the room. I don't think they noticed much of anything, so I guess I shouldn't feel bad. I guess. The strange part though was that no matter how bad their fight got, the next day everyone would pretend nothing had happened and would go about in their strained way of living. However, my parent's fighting did drive home a simple truth to me. The closer you are to a person, the more you can hurt them. I had been stupid in letting Kenshin and even Misao weasel their way into my life. Very stupid. And even though I could not bring myself to intentionally drive them away I would make sure that in the future they wouldn't be any closer to me than they already were.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

**Author**: And there you go. On to chapter 9.

**To Reviewers:**

**kik-ting:** Well here is the 8th chapter! My updates will probably still be sporadic because of school but I will do my best. I am glad you like that Kaoru and Sou are siblings!

**Chikifriend: **I just want to thank you again for everything. Hopefully this chapter shows that Kaoru is almost regretting befriending Kenshin. I breathlessly await your review. :)

**legolasEstelstar:** Thank you for your review and support!

**prohibited: **Hmmm…well they still aren't together are they? Yes I know…this update wasn't the…uh…fastest but I hope you will forgive me!

**Aoshi-Sama's weaselgirl: **::shakes fist:: Stupid teachers and their homework assignments!

**Nekotsuki:** ::grins:: Hiko is one of my favorite characters so I am immensely pleased that you think I have done well with him! And I am so sorry I haven't review TJ! My life is hectic!

**flaming-amber:** Don't worry! I don't feel bad at all. In fact, I am glad that you take the time to give me advice! Thank you for your review. It is very appreciated.

**JBella: **Yes I have to admit that I am taking lots of liberties with Kamitari…but I cant help it! He can be so darn cute! I am very happy you like him as much as I do.

**Kaji-Hebi:** Wow! Thank you for the compliment! I am glad that you think this is one of the better high school AU's out there. That was one of the reasons I started to write this. I was also tired of reading badly written AU's and I am glad you think I am doing well!

**WhiteRabbit5: **Honestly, I just love Hiko. I love how he makes Kenshin squirm. I love how he insults everyone. I just love him. I am very happy that you thought chapter 7 was great! I can't wait for your next review!

**Half-breed-demon-fox: **Hopefully you like this chapter as much as you did the last one!


	9. IX Wicked

**When Innocence is Given**

By: Rabid Turtle

**Author:** Kenshin's POV. I dedicate this chapter to **Pego** since she flustered me up so much that I had to finish it. Here you go, I hope you guys approve.

**Chapter 9: Wicked**

"Where is she?" I muttered looking around in the already-crowded building. "Kaoru's going to be late if she doesn't show up soon."

I had been walking aimlessly in small circles ever since Kamitari, Sano, and I had gotten to this 'grand' opening of Smithville's finest hour; a mall had been born. I have never really liked malls and the thought of staying in one for more than a half-an-hour almost drove me into a panic. However, Kaoru's friend Misao had been really enthusiastic about coming and when Misao got enthusiastic you got dragged along for the ride.

Kamitari, who was trying very hard to suppress his excitement of today's shopping excursion, laughed and shook his head. " Kenshin, Kenshin, Kenshin….the poor girl does have a life you know. Kaoru can't just suddenly appear in front of us. Do you remember the traffic out there? It's not like she can fly right over that with her magic car."

"I know that! But…."

Sano and Kamitari looked at each other and burst out laughing.

" What? What's so funny?" I demanded.

"It's pretty pathetic when I guy falls apart just because his girl doesn't show up exactly when she says she would. Hell Kenshin, she isn't even late yet! Quit pacing around and sit your ass down. You're giving me a headache." Sano grinned as he pushed me onto a bench.

" I am not falling apart! And Kaoru is not 'my girl'. We are totally and strictly just friends."

Both Kamitari and Sano suddenly were wearing identical smirks. " Riiiiight."

I sighed and shook my head. No use arguing with these two. How come no one ever believed what I said anymore? Was there some sort of message secretly written on my forehead marked "In Denial"? And anyway, who would know me better than myself? I knew what I wanted, right? I was content with just being friends with Kaoru, right? I definitely didn't need to start a 'serious' relationship with her, right? Dammit brain, answer me.

" And anyway, you know I can't stay for long. I got to be home by 4:00 or my Uncle's gonna kill me…" my voice died out when I saw who was coming straight toward us with a smirk on his face and some girl latched on to his arm. Enishi always knew how to make an entrance.

"Well, well, well, look what we have here! You girls out shopping?" Enishi lazily asked.

" Shut up Yukishiro." Sano growled while eyeing the white-haired teen in front of us.

Enishi smiled, " Oh, don't worry Sagara, I know better than to get this bunch angry. I've seen what could happen, eh Himura?"

I flinched. Oh god, not now, anytime but now. I don't want to talk about that here. Or with Enishi of all people.

Eyeing me with concern, Kamitari spoke up. " What do you want with us Enishi?"

" What, I need a reason to be friendly and talk to people? I'm just making conversation, faggot. You don't mind if I call you that, do you? Your kind likes it when we talk dirty, right?" Enishi suddenly started to chuckle, "Man Himura, I watched you that night at Sagara's party. Pretty impressive. Jin'eh got you pretty riled up, messing with that girl and all. Only you can play with her, huh? Totally respect that man. Got to protect what's your own." Enishi leeringly smirked at the girl clamped to his side.

I could feel my heart beating. Hard. I could see Kamitari subtly position himself between Enishi and me. I half-heartedly smiled inwardly at him. Even now, Kamitari tried to protect me against myself

" No, that is not why I…"

Enishi interrupted me as if I hadn't said anything. "Although, I guess I should have been prepared for it. We all should have known that one day you would go insane on us. It's like your family history. Like mother, like son, right?"

Cold. I felt so cold, as if all the blood in my veins had suddenly been frozen. I watched in slow motion as everyone around Enishi visibly stiffened; even the girl he had brought along. We all knew he had gone too far.

We all knew.

Through gritted teeth, Kamitari growled, " Go away Enishi. Stay away from us."

Enishi was about to give a snide comment until he saw the very intent, and very murderous, look on Sanosuke's face. " Fine. If you don't want to have a nice conversation between friends, I guess I can't force you. Come on, Megumi. This is getting boring."

We became silent when they left. My body still felt…numb. Enishi's words kept on repeating over and over in my head. _Like mother, like son…_

Dear God, let it not be true. Don't punish me like that. Never like that.

After a few minutes Kamitari spoke up quietly. "I think I see Misao and Kaoru."

I looked up from the ground and I saw her. I faintly wondered if Kaoru knew how much she could light up a place just by being there. Just by breathing the same air as the rest of us. All scattered thoughts flew from my mind, however, as our eyes met.

_Her eyes. _They had been haunting me for some time now. I knew then, that though I love being her friend, I would love to…_like mother, like son…_ My thoughts, wild and scattered, frightened me.

" Hello Kenshin." Kaoru smiled demurely at me.

"Hi." I smile, hoping she didn't see how tense I was.

"Sorry, we're late. There was an accident just outside the mall entrance."

Everything fell back into place then. I was just a guy, hanging out with friends and she was just a girl, although a quiet and sometimes sad girl, but a regular one nonetheless. Sometimes, I think that simple routines are the best comfort of all.

-

**Author:** I am sooooo sorry that this took so long. It still feels sort of incomplete but.. I needed to update to motivate myself. My life is getting ridiculously hectic; not only are my parents on the verge of divorce, but school is taking away all my free time. So I beg all of my reviewers to forgive me. Thank you.

**To Reviewers:**

**half-breed-demon-fox: **Thanks for the continued reviewing! It makes me happy to see your name!

**WhiteRabbit5: **Your reviews never cease to delight me. I'm glad you like the scene with Kaoru's parents…that took a long time to write. But seriously, I love you. I hope you enjoy chapter 9 as well.

**Phi-dono: **(sigh) I wish I could give Kaoru and Kenshin random fluff moments, I really do. But…for one thing I don't know how well I could write fluff and secondly, I don't want to rush anything in the story as some reviewers have warned me against. But I will keep your request in mind for later chapters. Thank you for your review. It pleased me.

**Kik-ting: **Lol! Don't worry, I can never be mad at my reviewers…I love you guys too much. I think this chapter answered your question. I doubt though that Enishi is going to play a pivotal role. Just a side character you see… :)

**Aoshi-Sama's weaselgirl: **lol…I think everyone likes to read a little drama once in a while….

**Pego: **What can I say to you that can fully encompass my gratefulness? You made me update. Thank you ever so much.

**abubi-chan:** Yeah Kaoru's mother is a bit…mentally unstable to say the least. Thank you for the review.

**Anonymous miss:** Lol..i think that is why I love Misao so much. She is so optimistic and yet dramatic at the same time.

**Peachie-Chan: **I will hurry as much as I can…. lol it seems as if no one likes Kaoru's mom. Poor mommy…no one loves her… hehe

**Chikifriend:** I'm glad that you approve! This makes me deliriously happy. But please, don't hesitate to give me advice. I will appreciate anything you say.


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